Two simple rules for a better world
This past weekend, I happened to be out in my home town where my wife was running a local, annual 10K race. (She got first in her age group – I’m extremely proud of her!)
After the race, I asked my six year old if he would like to see some of the local sites where dad grew up. He was more than up for it and was excited to take the tour.
The first stop on our journey was my grandfather’s house.
My 94-year old grandfather is still mobile and actively collects junk that he strips down to materials that he sells. Despite this, he’s unfortunately at a point in his life where, due to age and circumstances, he has found himself mostly alone.
Now, when we were driving by his house on Saturday, he happened to be outside taking apart a radiator. Although we were in a hurry to get back to the city, we agreed to stop and say hi. It had been quite a while since I had last seen him so it took him a minute for him to get his bearings but, once he had, he remembered me, my wife’s name and my son’s name (who he had never met before this moment).
One thing led to another and we agreed to stay and grab lunch with him. He regaled us with stories of his youth and his life’s experiences through the many years. I learned things I hadn’t known before about him and my mother and it was interesting to hear these stories – although sometimes difficult at times to piece together as his voice didn’t carry very far and the stories sometimes carried both far and wide before coming home to the point.
As we were coming to the close of lunch, he said something to me that will stay with me for a while. He looked over at me, started shaking and said, “Peter, I’m so happy right now I could break down and cry.”
Damn. That was powerful.
For me, it really drove home two things that are important to remember as we deal with others either personally or in business:
- It doesn’t take much to be kind to people.
- We can never tell what impact that kindness will have.
It’s easy in the increasingly busy lives that we live to forget these points.
In our hurry to get back to the city to resume our lives, it would have been nearly as easy to keep driving as to stop. I’m thankful we stopped.
And I’m thankful that my grandfather is still around to remind me of something so essential.
Robert Wood
Wayne Schulz
Peter Wolf
Peter,
That’s a beautiful story especially for this time of the year when we should be getting together with (or avoiding) family.
If you want to make an old man really happy take your son out there on a regular basis so that your son can learn from those that came before us.
My son’s great grandmother loved my 10 so much and would tell other adults to go pound sand when they wanted her to do something that didn’t include Trevor (Trent wasn’t born yet)
He loved his “G.G.” and still from time to time asks about her. He’s aware that she has left this earth, so his questions are usually centered around seeing her again.. G.G. was asked once why she she liked being around Trevor and she gave the person asking the question the “Ya Damned Fool” look and said that because Trevor didn’t know how old she was, didn’t know she had cancer, and her age didn’t matter to him. He made her feel young again.As Gary Vaynerchuk once said “I’ve mets 100′s of elderly people and not one of them wished they had more money, they all said they wish they had more time to be with their family.”
Great sentiments Bill. Thanks for sharing that.
Hi Peter, It is all too easy to plow ahead. We need to take time to smell the roses but not too much. Glad you shared this.
Thanks Bob! I aim to please.
I grew up with both grandparents in the city area, and, to my young mind, entirely too much family “togetherness.” I left for college way out of state, and subsequently worked nowhere close to that city. My parents left the city for a difficult place to get to just after I graduated college. Naturally, I was fully engaged with my business peers and my wife and 2 kids well into my 40′s.
Through a series of family crises starting 15 years ago, I’ve been pulled back to that extended family. Despite my resistance to it, I’ve found that connecting with all this older family was terrifically rewarding to all parties.
I extended that experience to understanding how little attention most people get. Most folks we encounter outside of business are either completely ignored or merely talked “at.” I’ve learned that the simple act of taking a minute or two to “chat up” a person I bump into by asking about them to actually learn something about them is tremendously fulfilling to me, and they definitely remember me. Not that I want to be remembered, but they remember the interest shown.
I think the word for this is “grace”, meaning “free gift.” You give it, and they definitely value it, because it is so rare.
Thanks for sharing Jerry. It will be interesting to see what evolves over the next few decades as the next gen connect via social means. Will they get the same level of connection that you refer to? Maybe it will just be … different. Not better, not worse – just different.
TIme will tell.