6 degrees of separation? Don’t make me laugh
I received a call from a real world friend the other day (hence forth “Friend”) and the conversation went as follows (cutting out the general chit-chat to save you all from falling asleep at your desks or driving your cars – which, by the way, you really shouldn’t be reading this while driving, but I know how it goes).
Friend: So I have this new prospect, ABC Corporation, and I’m up against some tough competition.
Peter: I feel for you. There’s a lot of that going around these days.
Friend: Yeah [nervous laugh] but you can help here.
Peter: Sure, I would love to help. What do you need?
Friend: I’m wondering if you could provide an introduction for me.
Peter: Uhhh… what now? You want me to introduce you to your own prospect?
Friend: [more nervous laughter] Oh yeah – I was checking them out on LinkedIn and you know their VP of Finance, Anne Accountant.
Peter: [pulling up LinkedIn] You’re out of your mind, I don’t know anyone named … son of a … yeah … I guess I do know her.
Friend: Cool! Can you provide an introduction? We could use the help to seal the deal.
[awkward pause as I'm clicking around furiously]
Peter: Oh man… I know Anne probably as well as you do. She connected with me a while back as a friend of a friend of a friend situation. I can start reaching out but it’s going to take a while. Let me see what I can do.
This exchange got me thinking about the role of social networks in our lives. Each and every week, most of us are acquiring additional connections on Facebook and LinkedIn and Twitter and it bears asking “where does it end”?
A typical situation: your world collides with John Doe on one of the networks – maybe an interesting post or exchange or a comment on a mutual friend’s photo, whatever – and you connect. John and you may never speak again. Sure, you see each other’s posts on occasion but there is no real interaction, no real connection.
Are you and John friends? No, not really “friends” friends … although you may be “Friends” with the capital “F” on the network. And if I ask you how you know John, *you* will most likely be the one nervously laughing and come back with a “no idea”. In the meantime, your real friends, the one with the small “f”, will be buried in your Facebook timelines, Twitter streams, LinkedIn streams, etc.
So what’s the answer here? Where does it end? I don’t have the answer but while we’re thinking about it, please feel free to connect with me at:
Facebook: www.facebook.com/peter.a.wolf
Twitter: www.twitter.com/azambainc
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/azambainc
And some day … down the road … when we are talking, I might ask you how we connected and you can refer me back to this post.
Robert Wood
Wayne Schulz
Peter Wolf
Peter,
Great article. I had to laugh because as the leader of the Sage LinkedIn Group I get probably 2-3 of those introduction requests & in many cases, like you, couldn’t tell you anything about them. I’ve learned to politely decline.
Does your friend really think that he’s going to seal the deal with your introduction? His business must be slow, slow, slow. That’s really a reach for new prospects.
I enjoyed it
Bill
For those who don’t know, Bill Kizer is the ultimate networking mad-man and has built the wildly successful LinkedIn Group to over 5,000 members. (yes … that’s 5 THOUSAND).
So he knows what he’s talking about when it comes to building social networks and linking up with people!
Well thank you Peter, but the truth is all I will take credit for is creating the group. We’re over 5,700 members & they’re the ones who have built this group into what it is today.
As many of you who don’t know, I have surrounded myself with a “Brain Trust” consisting of Peter, Wayne Schulz, Tammy Mathews & Ed Kless. One of the requirements that I had set into place was that the Brain Trust Members would not be afraid to set me straight from time to time. They’re the ones and myself who are the stewards of your group.
I’d give your Friend some credit for asking – anyone who actually knows you is aware that you are a great guy who is loved by all. An introduction from Peter is a powerful asset.
That being said, it brings up a good point about accepting and requesting ‘links” and “friends.” Do you accept only people who you would invite into your living room, or do you include others? Do you politely decline to be tied to someone via social media until you know him well enough to remember his name if someone asks?
Peter – I think you could easily add this scenario to your wonderful Bizarro presentation.
Kristi – you are too kind as always.
Regarding accepting anyone into your living room – great point! I kind of referenced this in this bizzaro post: http://summitdiary.com/2011/10/03/back-for-more-bizarro-social-networking-tips-too-bad/
It all comes from when you send your links – warm them up. Don’t go inviting yourself into others’ living rooms without at least saying hello properly. As far as what others do when they link to you … you can always reply back to them and say “how exactly do I know you”?
I’ve done that before and it leads to finding out if someone is just “link building” for sales purposes or is truly a person that has the same or collaborative interests with you.
Just my 2 cents…
So true Peter.
It can also be embarrassing when you have so many ‘friends’. I met someone last week who said you know who I am we are Linked on LinkedIn and truthfully I didn’t have a clue as I didn’t recognize them. I was honest and now if we meet again I’ll know who it is!
Ouch! But good recovery – honesty is the best policy.
For me, it really depends on which Group the “Friend” request comes from. In the Sage related Groups, in my opinion, we are all “Friends” meaning consultants and I accept most requests. For other more specific types of Groups ie: local “specialty” Groups, I accept request of those people that I know, either personally or professionally…by name & face. There are other times when a professional friend requests one of my “personal” Groups, I politely decline.
The same applies for my Facebook accounts. I have one that is for personal friends only and my Work one is for professional friends…and the 2 shall not cross.
Do you find it difficult to manage the two groups? For me, a lot of my professional friends are personal friends and vice-versa.
I think Google was on to something with the circles idea in Google +. The problem is that it’s too dang confusing to think about for the average post. (At least for me, it is)
Is anyone in on http://www.unthink.com ? This site seems to be aiming to be the private person’s social network. I tried to sign up, but they said that for now I need an invitation…